Sunday, 15 December 2013

Our Wedding Anniversary, Remembering & Body Image

Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary.  Sometimes it feels like we have only just met, and others like we have been together forever.  We married at 21, so have been together over half our lives - I cannot imagine life without my mister!

Cutting the cake, 15 December 1990
I made my dress, and those of the bridesmaid and flower girls, and did my hair and makeup and flowers.  I actually thought I was fat then - I think I was about 65kg.

I love this photo. Both my grandmothers and my maternal grandfather are in it. They are no longer with us, but you can see that my grandmothers had very different builds.  

Us with my grandparents

My mum's parents lived in Holland through the war, in near starvation conditions.  When they came to Australia in the mid 1950s they made it their mission to always have enough food.  As a kid I loved visiting and staying with them - we were allowed chocolate biscuits for morning tea, and grandpa would often cook us pancakes.  They also told wonderful stories about the war and their lives, and were always loving - and great for cuddles!  

My dad's mother lived further away from us and I did not see her often.  We called her 'little grandma' (my other grandmother was 'big grandma'), and although she was a lovely lady, she was not really someone you'd have a cuddle with.  I never met my other grandfather, as he died when my dad was three.

Us today
I talked yesterday about my bad body image. I think most of it stems from my father.  His mother was obviously tiny, as was his only sister (he had lots of brothers.)  He always told my mum that she was fat, or getting fat, and turning into her mother.  And I mean always - even when she was quite thin.  Mum was always stunningly beautiful too, and I felt very plain in comparison.  It didn't help that when I started high-school I had short hair and long skirts - back when all the cool girls had long hair and short skirts.  Then I got braces, and pimples.  My husband met me when I was 17 and over most of my awkwardness.  He says he got me because the boys I went to school with didn't see the gorgeous me that he did.  I still think he's the only one that sees me that way, but that's ok!

Mum and Dad are still alive and still together by the way, and I think Dad has finally come to terms with Mums weight - she's about a size 24. I know my girls see their Dad loving me as I am - now I just have to make sure that we both love our kids as they are.  Sometimes it's hard, especially when you know the hard time overweight kids can get.  And we only have one daughter that is overweight, the others are quit thin, so she gets stick from her siblings too.  I am trying hard to change that, and am preaching fat acceptance and body acceptance, including accepting body piercings and tattoos - something my very conservative husband has problems with.  Wish me luck!   And if you have a diet free blog, let me know! 

Deb xx


  1. ((((hugs)))) I just did a blog post on a similar thing. I highly recommend reading "Dances with Fat". My daughters have also seen me reading all size fashion blogs and I think that helps. We also don't use any negative body talk in the house - it's hard...but our girls are better for it. They use body size as a description and never an insult. One of my twinnies (who are 10) loves running up to me and shaking my belly she loves me just as I am.

    1. I really can't wait for a trip to Melbourne so I can hug you! I will look out for Dances with Fat, thankyou, and love the shaking belly! Actually I am thinking of taking up belly dancing! I will read your blog properly tomorrow - promise! xxx


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